Effects of Divorce on Children
Divorce is often a traumatic event making a sad mark on a child’s life. Let’s discuss some of the things that a child can encounter while parents are going through divorce.
One of the ugliest things about these situations is that a young person can feel guilty about what’s happening. The child may think that if he/she would have behaved better, this would not happen.
Children can be seriously depressed about the situations, it can take a long-term effect on a child’s future development. When parents spread the negative vibe all over the place, it can hardly be ignored by the kid. It can also lead to the negative pattern of relationship in the future. The basic model is often imprinted on a kid’s subconsciousness by the surroundings, and it can take years to break a bad habit based on a child’s experience.
Some parents try to deliver fake explanation of why divorce happened. These measures can take a positive short-term effect, for instance, make the hard conversation easier for both. But then another even harder conversation may come in case the kid finds out that was a lie. A double betrayal from both parents can be a hard trauma for a young person.
The other terrible thing about divorce is that a child can feel powerless. The world of grownups is saying ‘there’s nothing you can do.’ This is why the idea that you cannot influence your life can stay with the child. Such kind of thought can cause low will power in future life and unconscious conviction that there’s no point in taking charge over your life, this can also lead to fear of decision making.
The other effect is caused by shift in the environment. If a child is used to frequent dinners with the parent’s friends, this can be another alteration in a habitual course of things causing the kid feel unstable without any certainty in this world.
Integration into a new family or the necessity to enter a new school in case the parent moves is a huge stress for a child. If these two are combined, the young person can feel heavy anxiety. People are important in kids’ life, and it can be hard to adapt to a whole new environment. Such anxiety can transform into anger or bad behavior.
People think they need support if divorce happens, but it’s really the children who needs true backup. These young people need warm words no matter how ‘mildly’ or hard the process is going. Often a consultation of a child psychologist can help.